Treat people well. Treat them the way you yourself would like to be treated. Do this even if they don’t treat you well.

All men and women are born equal, even though they don’t all have the same capabilities or opportunities. Other people have as much right as you do to exist, and have a right to respect.

Avoid arrogance or thinking that you are better or more deserving than other people. Just because you might be more highly skilled or an expert in certain topics this does not make you better than people with less skill or expertise. And always remember all others have some skills and abilities that you don’t, and that even in your own areas of expertise you are not all knowing.

Show respect for other people’s opinions. Never tell them they are wrong. You can tell them you disagree with them, and why you disagree, but avoid the egotistical arrogance of telling they are wrong.

Seek out other people’s experiences. You learn much from experience, and you can learn much from other people’s experiences if you listen to them. Of course you don’t need to take everything at face value, and you can be skeptical of more extreme claims or claims you might have reason to doubt. But for the most part other people are open and honest about their experiences and you can empathize with them and add them to the wealth of your own experiences, albeit recognizing the potential for some embellishment and bias as they see things through the filter of their own viewpoint and interests.

Be mindful of wanting others to do things your way, and getting upset when they don’t. It shows a basic lack of respect for others. They have their views just as you have yours. You need to respect that and come to some agreement with them, not get upset because you are not getting your way.

Treating others as equals means you keep your commitments to them, or if you can’t you apologize and let them know in advance.

When you are talking with someone else then show them some respect by paying attention to them, and being responsive to them. Don’t spend the time you are with someone else wishing you weren’t there or thinking about other things.

Respect other people’s personal space, and local social etiquette and cultural norms. Otherwise you are likely to find other people getting on your nerves and you are certainly very likely to be getting on their nerves.

Treating people as equals does not mean treating everyone the same all the time. Different people expect and value different things, and what might be good for one person might not be for another.

The law is society’s way at seeking a balance between the needs of the many and the needs of the few. When we deliberately flout the law we are putting our own interests before the needs of the many, and saying we should have more rights than others. Whilst we doubtless find ways of justifying this to ourselves, it is nevertheless an egotistical selfish act. If we believe a particular law is wrong we should add our voice to those who are legally campaigning for it to be changed.

There is worth in everyone you meet. You may or may not immediately get on with everyone you meet, but remember they are human beings with the same rights as you, and probably many of the same concerns and fears and hopes. Seek to instinctively like and respect everyone you meet and see any characteristics you find annoying as simply who they are, rather than something to be judged.

We should be wary of assuming others should think and act like we do. The way people think and act is to a great extent conditioned by their particular circumstances both in general cultural terms and in particular individual terms. We have been conditioned by our culture and particular circumstances, and others have been conditioned by theirs. If we had been brought up in their circumstances we would likely think and act more like they do than like we do.

We should be sensitive to the possibility of others seeing the world differently to the way we do, and recognize that our differences with them may be due to this different way of viewing the world.

Most interpersonal relationship problems arise from one person having expectations of the other. Usually we apply our own standards and expect others to conform to them. However whilst clearly there are reasonable expectations at the extreme, we should be tolerant of others having different standards to our own. After all we would think it unreasonable for other people to expect us to confirm to their standards.

Welcome people with different views. Seeking out common ground with them will often give you different perspectives and lead to you developing and gaining a deeper understanding of your own views

Some people have behaviors they can’t help. People with autism, and there are milder forms of autism that might not be readily obvious, behave as they do because of how their brain is wired. Rather than be upset, you can usually find an effective way of interacting with them if you make the effort.

The fact that some others are better than us at certain things, is to be embraced not begrudged. You generally have much more to gain by working with someone who is better than you in some way relevant to the given task, than you do by working with people who are worse than you.

When you are in conflict with someone, or have a difference of opinion, you have the opportunity to improve your own views. We can learn far more by listening to those whose opinions differ to our own than we can from those who simply agree with us

Deal with people as you find them; don’t be angry or frustrated that they are not as you would like them to be.

Be wary of stereotyping. Whilst it provides a quick way of deciding how to react to someone, stereotyping is a sloppy and ineffective way of reacting to individuals, and is based on prejudices. There is far greater variation in individuals within a group than there is commonality.

People behave the way they do because of their particular circumstances and background and beliefs. They don’t behave the way they do because they are evil people or because they are out to get you. Remember this and you are more likely to be tolerant of people behaving differently to the way you believe they should.

There is a point of reasonableness with respect to respecting other people’s point of view and rights to free speech and action. Whilst we should err on the side of tolerance, it is right that law should prevent the preaching of hate and violence and discrimination.

Be friendly towards others, those you know, and strangers. Say thank you regularly. Hold open doors for people. Pick things up for them. Smile when you catch someone’s eye. Be friendly at any excuse.

Most behavior has positive intent, albeit from a particular viewpoint.

Show gratitude for what others are doing or trying to do for you, even if it is not perfect. Thank people, and praise people, whenever you have an opportunity to do so.

You are not perfect, and other people are not perfect. Forgive yourself and forgive others for mistakes, though look to see how you can lessen the likelihood of them being made again.

People yearn for recognition. If you learn how to give people recognition you will find people eager to help you achieve your goals. Ways to give people recognition include: really listening to them – focus on them when they are talking; have good eye contact when they or you are talking; use their name from time to time; give genuine compliments whenever you can; notice when people do something you wanted them to do; ask people for advice; and say thank you.

Praise people whenever you have an opportunity to do so. Notice what other people are doing that is positive and beneficial and take the time to compliment them for it. Acknowledge good work, and acknowledge people making an effort.

Think kindly of others and you will feel much better than you would otherwise have done.

Forgiveness is strongly linked with happiness. Those that can forgive others are generally much happier than those who hold on to their resentment.

Don’t wait for an apology before you forgive someone. The only person you are hurting when you allow yourself to get upset by someone else’s behavior, actions or words is yourself. People rarely realize how upset they have made you feel, and they didn’t really mean it. So forgive them unconditionally. You’ll feel much better for it.

If you bear a grudge against someone the only person you are harming is yourself. Let grudges go.

Be kind and courteous, though not gullible, irrespective of whether or not your kindness and courtesy is returned.

When you talk or gossip about other people, the listeners transfer the characteristics you use to describe other people onto you. If you talk about how incompetent someone is, the listener applies that incompetence to you. Thus it is much better to talk about others in a positive manner.

If others beat you in a competition or game do not feel bad about it. Congratulate them and feel genuinely happy for them. Be happy that there are other people with the same interests as you, and who possibly feel as passionately about those interests as you do. If they are better than you then you get better as a result of playing or competing against them, and so you should be grateful to them.

Your expectation of how someone is, often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy as you behave towards them in accordance with your expectation and they respond in kind.

The way we think about others is a choice we make, not something that is imposed on us. We can see people as largely self-interested and selfish if we choose to do so, or we can see them as human beings just trying to make their way in the world if we choose to do so.

Don’t get annoyed at other people for doing what it is they are doing, such as taking a long time in the queue in front of you. They are not doing it to annoy you.

Given that people in general focus more on the negative than the positive, you need to be seeking to have a lot more positive interactions with people than negative ones. Thus, ensure you give far more praise than you do criticism.

Respond enthusiastically to any good news that someone shares with you.

Help others to look good in front of others.

People do not choose to have the faults that they do, any more than you do. Don't get upset that they behave as they do, it is their nature; just as your behaviour is your nature.

Be ever friendly and ready to help others. Any opportunity or excuse to help someone should be taken.

What we do for ourselves, dies with us. What we do for others, lives on after us. Try to do something altruistic every day.

There is a lot of truth with regards one’s own piece of mind and feeling of self-worth in the adage ‘It is better to give than to receive.’

Do some things out of pure altruism. Do something for someone else without any expectation of reward or return of favor or even of recognition. Preferably do it without them even knowing. You will feel better. But be careful you are not giving charity to someone who will actually feel hurt or embarrassed by it or who will become resentful.

Don’t be put off by the fact you can’t help everybody. You can help someone. And that is a good thing.

To help people solve problems hold back from simply giving them your solution, no matter how good or obvious you think it is. Help them think about the problem for themselves by asking them leading questions, possibly offering up alternatives, in a way that enables them to come to their own conclusion.

Life can always be made meaningful through finding a way to help others; altruism is one of the best ways to boost your happiness. You can help others in terms of the moment, or help others over a period of time.

If someone is in trouble in a public place it is not uncommon for no-one to help. This is not due to the low morale standards of people today, but due to the psychology of the situation whereby everyone fears embarrassment should the help not really be needed, and everyone is waiting for someone else to step in and show them that the help really is needed. In such circumstances you should be the first to step in to help. Once you do, others will readily also step in. Better to risk a momentary embarrassment than a life time of regret at having not helped.

When interacting with others, respond to the specifics of the circumstances rather than to your attitude towards the person.

Better to say No to doing something, and then change your mind, than say Yes and then change your mind. If you are unsure, say No. Don’t leave people thinking you will or you might if you won’t.

There is a time and a place for frankness. Being frank when someone is not in the mindset to listen will create bad feeling regardless of the truth of the matter.

Don’t spare a person’s feelings only for them to be devastated later. It is often unnecessary to be brutally honest, but within reason it is usually best to be honest.

Encouraging high self-esteem in others gives them confidence to do things they might not otherwise have done, and also means they will feel good about themselves. However it does not increase their ability. Indeed undeserved self-esteem often has a negative effect through encouraging arrogance, conceit, a belief in personal superiority, and an expectation for reward without making much effort.

Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you. Would you be happy if other people did to you the thing you want to do or are doing to them?

Don’t steal other people’s successes. Give credit where it is due. If you build upon someone else’s work then openly acknowledge it. By giving praise to those who have helped you, whether they did so deliberately or not, you will find people are more likely to help you in the future and you will also gain general respect.

Think positively of others, and give them the benefit of the doubt unless you have a reason to do otherwise. Assume that they are acting in what is to them a rationale manner, that they are moral, and that they are well meaning.

If you don’t understand why someone is behaving the way they are, don’t be too quick to attribute it to some negative personality trait. It may well be due to some particular information or circumstance you are not aware of. If you were aware of it, you may well see their behavior as perfectly normal.

When others don’t perform we tend to put it down to being a character flaw. When we don’t perform we put it down to circumstances. If people don’t perform be sure you give them the opportunity to explain why not.

Be wary of judging people against standards you create for them. If someone doesn’t do something you expected them to do, think before you judge them too harshly. Were your expectations unreasonable? How would the expectations have looked from their viewpoint? Would they even have been aware of your expectations?

People often attribute malicious behavior where it is not due and see conspiracies where there are none. Incompetence or chance happenings, accidents, mistakes, misunderstandings, or con-incidents are usually a far more likely explanation of events than is conspiracy or malice intent.

Don’t be jealous of others or of the things they have. You don’t know what burdens they are also carrying. Don’t begrudge another’s good fortune. You do not know what misfortune they have had to endure.

Speak well of others, even if you do not think well of them. Dwell on people’s good points rather than on their faults. Speak of the little good you see in others rather than of the abundant bad.

It is unfair to judge someone who has done an evil without being sure that they had a realistic alternative that was less evil.

Be quick to forgive others; though don’t let them take willful advantage of your willingness to forgive. If you are able to forgive someone you will release a lot of negative feelings that will be eating away at you, and you will feel healthier and stronger.

If someone’s behavior is irritating you, think about the good things in your life, to put yourself in a generous frame of mind. Then tell yourself there may be something going on in the other person’s world that might warrant their behavior: they might be having a lot of worries, or had some bad news, or generally just be having a bad day.

Cooperation is generally more useful to us as individuals than competition. We achieve great things when working together in teams so long as we are all going in the same direction. That this has been so through our evolutionary past is exhibited through our strong tribal and group instincts.

Most people believe in fairness and do not like being taken advantage of. Whilst people might in certain circumstances behave in a highly co-operative and fair manner, if one or more people start to exploit the situation and take advantage, many others will often also start to do so just to avoid being taken advantage of. Greed becomes contagious not because people are inherently greedy but because people believe in fairness. Those who take advantage of others should be exposed and castigated for doing so, otherwise such behavior will gradually become widespread to the disadvantage of the vast majority.

Competitive games between unequal players merely cause frustration and is of little positive gain to either player. Better to turn them into co-operative games where you are trying to succeed together. Eg: rather than playing against each other in badminton or table tennis, try to go for long rallies.

Co-operation allows far more to be achieved than conflict, and is more likely to lead to long term survival. A lot can be achieved through sustained cooperation.

To achieve great success you need to involve others, and create a group of people who will help you.

We are, whether we like it or not, dependent upon others. If we truly tried to go it alone we would live a miserable existence.

Game Theory is a branch of mathematics that relates to working out optimal strategies in circumstances where people could either betray each other or co-operate in order to ‘win’. Whilst in one off situations there are benefits in betraying, in circumstances where there are repeated plays the optimal tactical is generally one of tit for tat. This is a strategy that is basically one of initially acting in cooperation, and subsequently responding in like to the last action of your opponent. This results in an approach close to maximum benefit whereby we gain the advantage of long-term cooperation with those who are willing to cooperate whilst not allowing ourselves to be significantly exploited by those looking to take advantage.

Some degree of competition does potentially spur innovation. During the post war period, for example, the capitalist West was far more innovative than the centralized East. There is also significant evidence that the Greek heyday, and also the rapid developments in the Western world in the 17th, 18th and 19th centuries, were significantly facilitated by the fact that there was significant competition between the Greek City States and between the different countries and states in Europe. Though one wonders whether true cooperation between those involved might not have led to even greater things.

Do not fear or avoid competition. Competition pushes us not only to do our best, but also to keep improving. Without it we often lack the stimulus to keep getting better.

Conflict can give rise to opportunities. In understanding the root cause of a conflict, or in looking how to resolve it, we often find better ways of doing things, which we may well never have identified had the conflict not occurred. And people who have worked together to successfully resolve a conflict will often come out of it with more mutual respect that can be drawn upon to benefit in the future.

In most conflicts you should be looking to resolve them with a win-win, rather than merely looking for some compromise, or seeking a win-lose outcome. In seeking a win-win, look to identify shared goals, and treat the conflict as a shared problem or challenge you can work on together to find solutions. In doing so note that the conflict arises not necessarily because of differences, but rather because of the perception of differences.

When trying to resolve a conflict (1 of 2):

◦ Treat others with respect. If people have alternative views it is for a reason, not because they are stupid or out to take advantage;
◦ Keep people separate from the issues. Don’t get personal about the issue or turn it into a general ‘you always …’;
◦ See it as a mutual problem to be resolved rather than about trying to determine who was at fault;

When trying to resolve a conflict (2 of 2):

◦ Be clear about where each person or party is coming from. Try to ensure both parties understand each other’s point of view;
◦ Come to an agreement about what the issue is that is to be resolved;
◦ Get into a brainstorming mood with regards looking for solutions;
◦ Negotiate a solution.

When faced with negotiations, focus on identifying and building on what you can agree on rather than focusing on what you disagree about.

When two dogs fight for a bone they risk a third running off with it.

Everyone has a need to feel significant. To make someone feel significant, take an interest in them. Give them your undivided attention. Listen intently. Ask questions. The more they feel you are listening to them, the more significant you make them feel, and the more they will value their relationship with you.

Take an interest in other people and they will find you more likeable. Appreciate someone’s uniqueness rather than expect them or want them to be different to the way they are.

See everyone as individuals just trying to make their way in the world as best they can. There is something to admire and like in everyone. There is something to be learned from everyone.

Rapport with someone else is based primarily on similarity or the perception of similarity. You can establish rapport by finding an interest in common with the other person or some shared experience or places and people you both know. You can establish a rapport with just about anyone if you take a genuine interest in them.

Encourage people to talk about themselves and you will make progress in getting to know them and getting them to like you.

Remember people’s names and other small details about them like their partner’s name, or what their children are doing, or where they go on holiday. Unless you have a particularly good memory it is best to write such information down somewhere private.

Try to understand things from other people’s point of view. Other people are just as logical or illogical in their thinking as you are, and thus behave the way they do and do the things they do, not because they are incompetent or bad people, but because of the way they see things. Try to understand how it is that they see things.

Network. Networking isn’t about trying to hang out with important people. Networking is about building mutually respectful relationships at all levels inside and outside of your work environment. A good way to network is to join associations and to attend conferences. Build a network of like-minded people.

Don’t be too proud to ask for, and take if you believe it is appropriate, the advice of others.

Consider the advice from others alongside your own thoughts when deciding on the best way forward. Others may not know the full circumstances, which may tend against their advice if it conflicts with your own; on the other hand others may have more experience about the matter in hand, which may tend towards their advice. Where the balance lies is for you to determine given the specific circumstances.

Do not feel duty bound to follow the advice of others. But do take it into consideration.

Sometimes the best person to clearly see the most appropriate way forward is someone who is detached from the situation.

When asking for advice from others be careful not to ask leading questions. If you ask your questions in a certain way it could strongly influence their response, away from being truly objective. Make questions as neutral as you can: ‘What do you think I should do about xxx?’, rather than ‘Do you think I should do yyy?’

If you want someone to do something for you, think about whether your words are likely to encourage them to want to help, or likely to put them off.

When receiving advice from others that it is contrary to what you believe, then it might be worth exploring why it is different. You are not in competition with others for the best advice, you are trying to get at the best way forward. When faced with conflicting information, the resolution of the conflict is often through digging a bit deeper, with the resolution often emerging from an understanding of the reason for the different viewpoints. When questioning others about the advice they have given, note the need to be careful not to make it seem like you are attacking or criticizing them for the advice they have given.

If you take someone’s advice, and it doesn’t work out, it is not their fault. The responsibility for whether or not you take someone’s advice, is yours, not theirs. Only you know the full and specific circumstances.

If you don’t tell people what you want, don’t be surprised if they don’t know. What you want may be obvious to you, but it rarely is to other people.

Being able to effectively negotiate is an important skill. You will get more of what you want if you are able to negotiate with others.

Think win-win in all your relationships with others. Look to always be building a better relationship with others at every opportunity.

For a negotiation to take place both parties must be prepared to move towards a mutually agreeable position. Without a commitment to move negotiation is not possible.

Negotiation requires seeking out common ground. The more open both sides are the higher the likelihood of finding common ground and finding a deal that is beneficial or at least acceptable to both parties. However openness on the part of one party needs to be reciprocated by the other.

Try to engender a feeling of being allies seeking a mutually agreeable solution rather than adversaries trying to get the best for yourself.

When negotiating with others look to understand what their position is and what’s in it for them. Concentrate on areas you know to be important to the others rather than waste time on areas that are not. Note that you often find these things out by asking them and by listening to what they say. If you ask more questions than they do you are likely to get more information and be at an advantage in seeking out a solution which best fits your needs.

Ensure that your and the other sides starting positions are themselves reasonable. Negotiating will involve both sides changing their positions. Someone stating an unrealistic starting position means that they will be seeking concessions from you whilst not genuinely making any for themselves. This is not open and honest negotiation and you should not accept it as a start point.

In negotiating, the more acceptable your alternatives, the easier it is for you to walk away, and the stronger your position. Always try to be clear about your best alternative to a negotiated agreement, abbreviated to BATNA. Also the better you understand the other party’s alternatives the better you can emphasis certain features of what you are offering.

Whenever the other party is speaking, or wishes to speak, let them do so. Every time they speak you are learning more and you are strengthening your knowledge position. Encourage them to speak and to explain their position or reasons for rejecting something.

Separate people from the problem to be solved. If someone is reacting in a negative manner emotionally than try to understand why. There’s probably something you’ve done or said unintentionally which has sparked an emotional response. If you can understand what it is you can probably correct it and get back to a more objective search for a commonly acceptable position.

Should the other party raise objections, rather than simply getting defensive, take it as an opportunity to ask them questions and better understand their position. Ask them to clarify why they are objecting, but be careful not to do this in an accusing manner. Do it in a manner that indicates you really want to understand the nature of their objection so ensure your body language and tone remains relaxed.

If negotiations start to stall, find some less critical aspect of the negotiations that you can work to seek agreement on that might kick start a positive attitude.

If full agreement is unlikely to be reached, are there partial agreements that can be reached? Maybe there is some joint working that can be done that may help facilitate future negotiations.

Negotiations that don’t lead to an agreement are not necessarily a failure. It is better to realize there is no good deal available than to enter into a bad deal.

At the end of a negotiation there should remain sufficient mutual respect for both parties to be willing to engage in future opportunities for negotiation. If one party feels hard done by, exploited, or cheated then an opportunity for future mutual benefit has been lost to both parties, a loss that may be far greater than whatever one of the parties may have superficially gained.

Don’t worry about what other people might be thinking about you. Other people are rarely thinking about you, they are mostly thinking about themselves.

Do not be concerned by others not appreciating you; be concerned about you not appreciating others.

No-one can make you feel bad about yourself without your consent.

Some will think positively about you, some will think negatively. You can’t please everyone all the time. So don’t try. Just be yourself, and think positively about yourself.

If you want to understand how others see you, it is vital you do it uncritically. Don’t focus on whether they are right or wrong to have the views that they have, just seek to understand what views they do have. Then with regards any negative viewpoints, don’t seek to deny it, but ask yourself why it is that you might come across to others that way. Once you understand this, you can decide whether or not you want to make any changes.

Don’t be afraid of criticism. Take it as feedback which is either useful to you or it isn’t. Once you’ve made use of it, forget it.

Beware of sinking into mediocrity because you don’t want to upset others. You can seek out your own goals with a certain selfishness without being completely heartless.

Don’t take too personally somebody’s comments or behavior towards you. It is unlikely they are deliberately getting at you; more likely they are like that with everyone. Or there was something else on their mind and they were not aware of the seeming slight they gave you. Or it was a spur of the moment thing, and for them it is already out of mind.

You are not in this world to live up to other people’s expectations of you, any more than others are in this world to live up to your expectations of them.

Don't worry about what other people think about you. They do not understand your motivations or your circumstances and what they think about you is more about them than it is about you. They will judge you by their values, not yours. Do you want to live the life they want you to live or the life you want to live?

When faced with a disagreement ask yourself: What is the disagreement about and are you arguing about the same thing? Do you have the same views about the facts? Are you using terms in the same way? Does the disagreement matter, or is it best just to agree to disagree?

When trying to get from a position of disagreement to a position of agreement then start from some premises or position you can both agree on. People usually have the same basic needs and wants and belief in what is right or wrong, they just have different viewpoints, based on their unique knowledge and experiences, on how to go about doing things or on what they think will or won’t work. Look to identify what you can agree on and then look to extend the agreement a step at a time in the direction you are looking to move to.

You can disagree with someone without being confrontational. A friendly debate with someone who has a different viewpoint to yourself can be a highly enjoyable experience.

Avoid arguments with someone who is obviously not interested in listening to your point of view.

If you spend all your time expressing your own opinions all you’ll hear is the sound of your own voice. You learn more by listening than by speaking: as the Chinese proverb goes – ‘From listening comes wisdom and from speaking comes repentance’. However you should speak from time to time to expose your own beliefs to the hard reality of other people’s opinions and to direct discussions to topics of interest to you.

Be very wary of making someone out to be a fool in a verbal argument involving others. You can very easily make an enemy for life.

When in verbal arguments, most people are mostly concerned about winning the argument, or at least not losing it, especially if there are 3rd party onlookers. If they find they are losing they will generally resort to defensive tactics such as attacking the other person, or getting louder, or feigning anger. However a far more constructive and useful approach is to embrace the fact that you have learned something. The real winner in a verbal argument is the person who comes out of it knowing more, or better able to construct future arguments.

Most arguments break down into being about blame, values, or choice. Blame is about the past and is argued using the past tense, values are about the present and argued in the present tense, and choice is about the future and argued in the future tense. Arguments often shift between these and as a result often fail to come to any acceptable conclusion. Try to keep your argument in the right tense for the issue at hand.

Avoid arguments in the past tense with family and friends. They tend to focus on blame. Shift the argument to the future tense.

The best response to anger is silence.

When engaging in verbal arguments try to avoid it becoming a win-lose encounter.

In seeking compromises try to avoid simply stating your preferred solution. You need to try to get the other party to feel some ownership of the solution. For example suggest a number of potential solutions that suit you and give the other person room to assess them from their viewpoint.

Don’t be put off by other people’s negativity towards you. If you are working towards something you believe in, many people will be negative or discouraging because you are showing up their mediocrity.

If someone puts you down, don’t go out seeking revenge, or trying to get even; go out to improve and get better. Even if you think they are wrong, the best riposte is to just keep getting better and better.

You will not please everyone, and some people will be critical of you. Do not let it play on your mind. Concentrate on doing the things you believe to be right.

You will often come across negative people, people who see problems in everything, people who always believe things will turn out badly, people who are cynical about others and are often complaining. Such people can be very draining, and an obvious way of dealing with them is to avoid them and keep away from them. This however is often not possible or practical.

Some tips for dealing with negative people (1 of 3):

◦Don’t get drawn into their negativity. Be at best non-committal in response. Do however respond positively to anything they say which is of a positive nature;
◦When engaging with negative people try to do so in a group. People tend to be less negative in the presence of a group than when talking to an individual;

Some tips for dealing with negative people (2 of 3):

◦Don’t take negative comments personally, even when they come across this way. People don’t usually mean it personally, but they tend not to be sensitive enough to recognize that it is coming across that way;
◦Rather than think negatively of someone who is negative think of them as having an alternative viewpoint which might be useful;

Some tips for dealing with negative people (3 of 3):

◦Try to find topics about which the person feels more positive. What subjects do they enjoy?
◦Do positive things for people who are negative, try to put positive thoughts into their head;
◦Limit the time you spend with people who are being negative. Why put yourself in a negative frame of mind by spending a lot of time with them.

A way of disarming someone who is being critical of you is to agree with the criticism. You are not perfect, and the person being critical might have a point. Agree that they have a point and then explore a bit more, in particular ask them what should positively be done as a result. You could well learn something, and you will often find the other person then becomes more positively disposed towards you and will help you in any follow up action.

People are rarely out to upset you, so forgive them. Most negatively and put-downs come from people seeing things only from their own viewpoint and being what they think of as honest, albeit with a lack of sensitivity. You do it yourself to others. You don’t notice when you do it to them, and they don’t notice when they do it to you.

When you come across a person who is consistently mean, ungrateful, or dishonest, don’t get angry at them for being what they are, just avoid them and work your way around them.

Do not simply ignore or avoid awkward or difficult people. They often have a lot to offer in terms of ideas even if they don’t put them across very well. Be as patient and tactful as you can be, and you may well get something positive out of them.

When dealing with difficult people try to see if there is a way of adapting your approach into a way that works more effectively with them. People are rarely if ever deliberately difficult, they just lack flexibility in how to deal with others. If you can be flexible you can often find a way of working with them.

When dealing with difficult people, actually when dealing with anyone, focus on their positive qualities and traits. You might find they become less difficult if you regularly complement them.

Do not be angry with others for their narrowness and pettiness. It is the way they are. Respond in an open and generous manner, albeit without letting yourself be taken advantage of, and maybe they will become a little less narrow and petty.

We learn more about ourselves from the people who make us angry.

Tactics for dealing with certain types of difficult people, or people who are being difficult in particular circumstances (1 of 2):

◦ People who complain: be careful not to agree with the complaints or to apologize – at least not until you are sure it is the right thing to do; don’t become defensive or confrontational; ask for clarification and details; seek out a solution in terms of what they expect to happen to resolve the issue.
◦ People who make promises they are unlikely to be able to keep: you need to encourage them to be more realistic and frank, but without confronting them.

Tactics for dealing with certain types of difficult people, or people who are being difficult in particular circumstances (2 of 2):

◦Know it all’s: don’t attack their ideas directly, but suggest alternatives. Seek out more details. If it’s clear they don’t know as much as they think they do, ensure you don’t show them up in public.
◦The pessimist: don’t argue with them. Focus on making and responding with positive and optimistic statements. Suggest a range of alternatives relating to the subject they are being pessimistic about, and let them contribute.

There are people who will take advantage if they have the opportunity. This doesn’t mean you need to mistrust everyone you meet. Nevertheless you should be sensitive to the possibility, and under certain circumstances back away from being in a position in which you can be taken advantage of.